|President Firefly Declares War on LSD
| Tony Zurlo
President Rufus T. Firefly declared:
"The League of Sin and Destruction,
popularly known as LSD, is stashing
WMD in defiance of my pledge to amass
the world's WMD inside Freedonia."
Bouncing off satellites in the heavens
Firefly's warning shook the world:
"LSD's chairman is a naughty man.
And God predestined me as his agent
to exterminate evil people in the world.
"LSD's ruthless leader is stockpiling
WMD in tunnels and sacred caves
according to CBN informants disguised
as shamans and embedded within
LSD's Committee of Sham."
Babel of phrases twisting in the wind
roared from ahigh: "Trust me,"
Firefly demanded. "My father's angels
warned me, and my guardian angel
ordered me to eliminate LSD."
An abnormal depression descended onto
the Garden of Eden and the neighborhood,
and righteous forecasters predicted
a Freedonian olive-green overcast
for the next several generations.