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Fall 2006













Is it really hot enough to touch?
Elizabeth Ross

November 7 th is just around the corner. Mid-term elections. GOP grasping at straws to hold on to a majority, or just acting scared. Does it really matter? By the time the media and special interest groups put their spin on the situation, it is meaningless.

And that's the point, isn't it?

If the public is dizzy, they won't notice jobs going overseas - or they'll somehow believe that is for the best.

Treason will still look like a little dishonesty - wasn't that what got Richard Nixon to resign? Doesn't matter. That was a different age.

The NRA will still scream to protect gun rights as the body counts in our schools increase - it's not the fault of the guns, after all. It's the people who wield them. But wouldn't the people have a hard time shooting up schools if there were more sensible requirements for owning a gun? Aren't NRA members mostly law-abiding citizens who don't want guns in the hands of the criminals and the insane? Doesn't matter. We must have that right to own guns without governmental control or restrictions.

Family is still the cornerstone of society. But women are supposed to be second-class citizens. They should be paid less, because they might go on maternity leave to have children. Aren't children a necessary part of having families? And if the fetus is still more important than the mother, shouldn't pregnant women be paid extra for carrying those fetuses?

Gays are the enemy of the family. All sexual deviants - guess that's anyone who has sex for anything other than procreation or in any position other than missionary - are also the enemy. That is, unless you are a Congressman chasing teenagers on Capitol Hill. Oops! No, that was a resignation for alcoholism, not sending questionable messages to a teenage boy - wasn't that Congressman a man?

A woman doesn't own her uterus and ovaries. That would be nice, for when they are ravaged by cancer, from lack of adequate healthcare. No, the woman is just a shell around those organs with no rights greater than the rights of a bundle of cells trying to attach themselves to the uterine wall. But men own their penises, and are absolutely free to take any drug or treatment they please to maintain an erection and increase sperm count to impregnate those female shells around uteruses and ovaries.

Terrorism must be fought on all fronts. Or was that drugs? Doesn't matter. They're both bad. They're both everywhere. Everyone must suck it in, give up privacy, give up whatever is needed to make us safe - and drug-free. Who changed the definition of freedom to include "being safe"? It wasn't "safe" for the revolutionaries in the 1700's to wage war against England. Aren't we supposed to be preserving that unsafe principle they started?

We are one nation under God - the Christian one - and we will not tolerate nonbelievers and heathens. We sort of tolerate the Jews, but only because they at least accept the Old Testament as truth, and they're our allies in the Middle East. Our belief system is open to become the law of the land - see our stand on women and gays if you doubt that. Now, were they nonbelievers and heathens, or are they infidels? Wasn't someone supposed to propose laws to keep those women covered on the streets? How about stoning for gays?

It will be tempting to vote on a single issue, as it always is. But unless you are willing to stand behind every single word above - 150% backing of every single word - you need to seriously reconsider keeping the status quo. Politicians sell themselves on hot button issues, and try to please as many people as they can with them. The problem is that the people have been letting them shift focus to one issue or another, instead of looking at where each candidate stands on multiple issues. You're getting a package deal, so you'd better know what that package contains before you buy it - there are no returns or refunds.