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November 3rd Blog

Spring 2007














Quitting Stuff
Jimmy Jazz

I’m not saying quit smoking or quit coffee,
or lay off that 750 ml bottle of Jim Beam
but quit for a month
  show your addiction who’s boss
  then tell your boss you need a raise

I don’t think the feminist’s are saying quit heterosexuality, but
like John Lennon said, “Give sucking dick a chance.”

If you jerk to internet porn, try masturbating to lurid voter pamphlets
(after all the politicians have been fucking you your entire life.)

When Bush I announced the new world order,
I was curious what he was reading:
Maimonides, Machiavelli, Ayn Rand, Leo Strauss
Fortunately, the dollar bill I was using as a bookmark caught my eye,
There! under the pyramid, the motto: “novus ordo seclorum”
(New order for the ages)
I knew then what he’d been reading.

Dick Cheney1 has already explained the plan to trade liberty for security
to the reptile brain.

When the Synapses started firing the Amygdala grew nervous.
   “¡Coup d’etat! ¡A revolution in the brain!”
“The Limbic System is holding us back!”
Corpus Callosum pleads (like a sycophantic diplomat)
for rival hemispheres to join.
“Medulla Oblongata marches from the south.”
The Occipital Lobe can see it all.
¿What is Frontal Lobe planning to do without fear?

Your hypothalamus may try to convince you that you are hungry,
but when was the last time you were really hungry?
fast until you faint.
Go on a hunger strike for an absurd cause
like the abolition of gravity
  or the end of global capitalism.

“I’m not eating another bite of ice cream
   until you all give up your cars.”

I conduct experiments on myself: Last month I ate:

Avocado, arugula, kale & celery
Asparagus, broccoli & lime
Spinach & chives, a gambit of peppers
Snap peas, wheat grass and thyme
Nopalitos, tomatillos, kiwi, chard & greens
Sprouts & basil, chard, chicory, oregano, olives and peas
Parsley, scallions, cilantro, cabbage, peyote, endive & beans
Honeydew, artichoke, cucumber, romaine…
and yes my piss ran green

When was the last time you pissed outside,
got your food ‘round the back of the diner,
slept in a cardboard box?

When was the last time you shit outside,
used candles for light,
huddled with your neighbors as earthquakes fell from the sky,
searched the rubble for your son’s arm so that you could bury him whole?

   “Oh here it is…’ looking like the last piece of KFC picked clean by the dog… a splintered drumstick against an empty pot.

CACEROLAZO – bang the bones of your dead son on a garbage can.

Change friends like underwear, at least once a month.

If you don’t like abortion, give condoms to high school girls.
If you don’t like sex… see the line about lurid voter pamphlets.

Go down on your knees often to meditate or copulate.

Set up families in adjacent villages
and hope that the women don’t compare bambinos
on market day.

Plant a tree on the day your daughter is born,
threaten to chop it down the day she loses her virginity,
so that there will be logs for the fireplace when she wakes beside her lover.

1. Insert current political or religious leader. (return)