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Spring 2007

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In the End, It's All About Composure
Rohith Sundararaman

it is unlawful for a man to want to pee
on a plane if he is brown, bearded and speaks
in some foreign tongue
it is even more criminal for two brown foreign men to have
the need to pee at the same time
i mean, how could 2 adults time their bladders to explode
at a precise minute onboard a plane
300 other passengers aren't queuing up along the aisle, are they?
and if the 4 restrooms meant for these 100's of people are occupied
then they cannot strike up a conversation with each other
no, they can't
because waiting when you'd rather be peeing makes one squirm
and two brown squirming foreign men talking to each other
in a foreign tongue outside the restroom of a plane is plain
suspicious behavior and as air marshals would testify,
in times like these, it is better to restrain pissed off people
because we'd rather see them wet their pants than us 
wetting ours