The Wetdryvac Title Pages: Hover For Product

About these titles:

Once upon a time, deep in the woods, there lived a very confused wetdryvac child. It had rather a lot of time on his hands, and, thinking this a good thing, wrote poems, articles, and other, "stuff." Every now and then, deep in the woods, it would get in trouble for one of the titles used on a poem, an article, or some other piece of written something.

In typical free associative manner, it decided that since it seemed to be amusing people with this stuff, it would write a few of them down. In high school, it discovered some friends on a similar bent, it thought. In a terrible spate of humor, they were writing down rather a large number of titles they had come up with on their own. It thought.

Unaware of the fame of George Carlin, and already possessed of a list of several dozen titles almost guaranteed to enrage teachers, it began putting together a list of all these amusing ideas.

In college, bored to tears with the less clever programming course it was stuck in, it entered all the items on the list into a program, numbered them, and passed them around to people who really shouldn’t have been reading material of this nature while eating.

In 1996, it heard his first George Carlin sketch - Join the Book Club.

In 1996, it carefully went through the lists - there were three of them at 1001 items apiece - and culled the first list for George Carlin items. In a frenzy of irritation, it realized that yes, at least some of the first 300 or so parts of list one were not in fact original material. Rather than take any risk, it chopped all 300 with pain and sadness, leaving 2600 items. Not much of a list, or, frankly, much of a math demonstration.

In 1997, it chopped out all items from other people with the exception of items it was quite positive were original to those friends. Yes, this is where equation above gains its inaccuracy.

Thinking back to the numbered program, it got bored again, dropped the list items to SQL, chunked the output out to text with numbers, and called it a day. Jump forward to today.

The lists, as they are known, have been making their rounds of friends, numbers of whom say, “You really should do something with these.” To which I reply, OK, I shall. This, then, is the result. See what happens when you free associate?

You can download the the lists in their ebook form at Writing: Payments and Downations. You can get them in printed format at Wetdryvac's Storefront on Lulu.com. The Webcomic based on The Lists is at The Thinkbag.